So I was watching this movie on TV the other day about a guy who loses his job and has to stay home and take care of the kids while his wife brings home the bacon. He goes through all the expected misadventures trying to take care of his 3 small kids, starting off with a how hard can it be? attitude and finding out that actually it’s super hard!
But one scene I found particularly interesting was where he’s out and about shopping and this woman tries to hit on him, giving him her number and telling him coyly that he can call her anytime if he needs help with the kids because she knows how tough it can be. Mind you this is a woman who seems to know his family and wife and situation and all. So probably a neighbour or friend or something. And as he walks away in seemingly innocent bemusement at her unexpected overture she says slyly to her friend who is reminding her that he is married that hey, so were we once.
Being a single woman of marriageable age for many years, I roll my eyes at such scenes that stereotype the single woman and especially heaven forbid if you’re a single mother (like myself) or a divorcee. They are painted as desperate Jezebel types lying in wait for these wonderful men who are already taken up and they will not let them live in peace until they have them! Well, my experience has been quite the opposite. In fact, many married men are quite happy to chase single women all day long, some of them even posing as single men if possible. There are 3 types of married men imho:
- The total team mafisi type. This guy does not seem to be aware that he is married. His head turns with every pretty girl who passes by and he will bring out all his mafisi moves and lines with no hesitation. This is the kind of guy who will ask you for your phone number in front of his wife! The poor woman is doomed to a life of humiliation and has learned to bear it with a stoic oh well boys will be boys kind of attitude to help carry her through life. Every time I meet one of these kind I send a silent prayer upward that I never end up in that situation.
- The super saintly type. This is the guy who actually buys into all the stereotypes of the single woman jezebel and therefore keeps a safe and far distance from her lest she should get her claws into him. This is all great for the wife but seeing as I’m writing from the single woman’s perspective, it doesn’t feel good to be treated like some kind of mad woman, bad woman in the famous words of Bruno Mars. Of course this is a step up from the womanising guy, but this kind of guy is also likely to be the super conservative type and have a women should be seen and not heard type of attitude. So we keep on going to….
- The third type. This is the ideal type of guy. He’s sober, no wandering eyes, good to his woman, and has no issues relating with other women also. He keeps a reasonable distance from them of course, as is expected of a respectably married man. But he doesn’t take off running at the sight of the single devil woman. I’m not quite sure this one exists, but he’s on my prayer list! As I also work towards being the ideal woman (as the relationship experts never fail to remind us).
On the married guy who’s still on team mafisi I have a couple of juicy stories that would have you rofl. But that’s for another day…..