I don’t actually have zero friends but I got the idea to write this post after reading this blog post by a lady who after moving to a foreign country found herself without friends. After suffering through the loneliness for about 3 years now, she has come to appreciate what the situation has developed in her character.
The post struck a chord in me because I’ve been going through a similar phase in my life where I have found myself in a situation where I seem to have dropped most if not all of my friends. It made me feel not alone in this situation. Initially I was a bit worried at my situation thinking that surely one cannot live this way and must stay in contact with people. In fact, I did maintain contact with a few but I found it to really be draining my energy as I was going through a tough time in my life where I needed to stay focused on myself.
Through a series of events I eventually came to the point where I realized it was doing me no good and I slowly cut off all contact with them and now I’m pretty much in a friendless state. It gets lonely but I feel so in touch with myself and able to decide in a clear way the things I need to do for myself without all the chatter one gets from friends and family. Not to mention I don’t miss the gossip sessions that coffee dates with friends inevitably degenerate into.
The writer of the article sounds like she would really be interested in making friends and is hoping this is just a temporary phase. I am quite the opposite and feel very comfortable where I am and that this is where I need to be right now. I did turn 42 this year so I don’t know if this is mid life crisis, maybe it is. I don’t think its a permanent state, I probably may eventually reconnect with some old friends, or more likely make some new friends that match my current phase and state of mind in life.
This Joel Osteen sermon on how we shouldn’t rely on people is my current mantra in life.