Ugh. As in disgusted at myself. I got caught up in watching these movies again. It came on TV last night and before I knew it I had watched the whole thing. This is my one vice left over from my romance novel reading days. Watching chick flicks.
But the twilight saga is on a whole other realm. I think it’s all the blood lust and love or die theme. These vampires don’t sleep, don’t die, life is one whole dragging existence. The only thing left to live for is love. In fact it says so on one of the movie posters, something to the effect if you can live forever, what do you live for? And the answer is…. love. This gets the women every time. I remember the first time I saw the trailer for the movie (see it here)I was like yet another teenage movie, with wolves and vampires no less, God help us all.
Then one day about 3 years ago,sitting innocently and bored on my couch, it came on TV and I was transfixed and could not for the life of me change the channel. It was the new moon movie, same one they showed again last night. I was swept up in the whole story and the next thing I knew I was out at the video store looking for all the other installments. It so bothered me that I went online to check the reviews, was I crazy? Then I saw the comments by all these women in their 30s and beyond and I was consoled. The one I most related to was a movie critic who says she succumbed to the palpable chemistry between the leads and remembered my own girlish fantasies with something of a head spinning rush. Yeah.
The fervor of the love is such that it’s almost religious. Consider Edward’s declarations to Bella: you are my life now, I no longer have the strength to stay away from you etc. (These btw are from the first twilight movie which I promptly had to rewatch after watching new moon awoke the beast within). I’m not surprised to learn that the author, Stephanie Meyers, is a staunch Christian. A Mormon I think.
It brings to mind for God so loved the world…..that famous verse. In fact in the bible God is described as love. As in God is love. And since he created us by breathing his life into us, then love is the very essence of our being. Children thrive on love. You cannot bring up a child in isolation giving them only the material things of life and no love. That is how you create a monster. Women however seem much more connected to this essence than men. Men are commanded to love their wives. Women are commanded to honour their husbands. Maybe that’s why we’re into all these love stories. Or maybe that’s my excuse lol.
At any rate in our search for love sometimes we get fed a lot of crap which we need to learn how to sift through and get to the real thing. One of the memorable quotes from the first movie is after they first get together: and so the lion fell in love with the lamb, what a stupid little lamb, what a sick masochistic lion. Poetic and apt but certainly not wise. It has less to do with love and points to everything wrong that’s fed to poor teenage girls in romantic novels about what relationships are all about. I’m a fully grown woman and still in recovery from all the wrong ideologies I got from these books.Maybe I’ll write about that one day.
So I was watching this movie on TV the other day about a guy who loses his job and has to stay home and take care of the kids while his wife brings home the bacon. He goes through all the expected misadventures trying to take care of his 3 small kids, starting off with a how hard can it be? attitude and finding out that actually it’s super hard!
But one scene I found particularly interesting was where he’s out and about shopping and this woman tries to hit on him, giving him her number and telling him coyly that he can call her anytime if he needs help with the kids because she knows how tough it can be. Mind you this is a woman who seems to know his family and wife and situation and all. So probably a neighbour or friend or something. And as he walks away in seemingly innocent bemusement at her unexpected overture she says slyly to her friend who is reminding her that he is married that hey, so were we once.
Being a single woman of marriageable age for many years, I roll my eyes at such scenes that stereotype the single woman and especially heaven forbid if you’re a single mother (like myself) or a divorcee. They are painted as desperate Jezebel types lying in wait for these wonderful men who are already taken up and they will not let them live in peace until they have them! Well, my experience has been quite the opposite. In fact, many married men are quite happy to chase single women all day long, some of them even posing as single men if possible. There are 3 types of married men imho:
- The total team mafisi type. This guy does not seem to be aware that he is married. His head turns with every pretty girl who passes by and he will bring out all his mafisi moves and lines with no hesitation. This is the kind of guy who will ask you for your phone number in front of his wife! The poor woman is doomed to a life of humiliation and has learned to bear it with a stoic oh well boys will be boys kind of attitude to help carry her through life. Every time I meet one of these kind I send a silent prayer upward that I never end up in that situation.
- The super saintly type. This is the guy who actually buys into all the stereotypes of the single woman jezebel and therefore keeps a safe and far distance from her lest she should get her claws into him. This is all great for the wife but seeing as I’m writing from the single woman’s perspective, it doesn’t feel good to be treated like some kind of mad woman, bad woman in the famous words of Bruno Mars. Of course this is a step up from the womanising guy, but this kind of guy is also likely to be the super conservative type and have a women should be seen and not heard type of attitude. So we keep on going to….
- The third type. This is the ideal type of guy. He’s sober, no wandering eyes, good to his woman, and has no issues relating with other women also. He keeps a reasonable distance from them of course, as is expected of a respectably married man. But he doesn’t take off running at the sight of the single devil woman. I’m not quite sure this one exists, but he’s on my prayer list! As I also work towards being the ideal woman (as the relationship experts never fail to remind us).
On the married guy who’s still on team mafisi I have a couple of juicy stories that would have you rofl. But that’s for another day…..